Monday, November 8, 2010

Facebook & Shidduchim

I went with my friends to pay a shiva (condolence) call in Jerusalem today, and along the way we tried to park the car at another stop. A young came up to us and said, "Would you like my space?" First impressions - what a nice young man.
He pulled his car out of the space. We pulled in. He came up to the window. "I had time left on my meter card, would you like it?" "Wow, thank you." Second impression - very nice young man.
Hm, wearing a kippah (skull cap), neatly dressed, nice car.
"Jump out," my friend (a typical Jewish mother) said. "Go find out more about him."
I jumped out of the car and knocked on his window.
"Are you married?"
"No." Third impression - gotcha!
"Are you dating someone special?"
"How old are you?"
"Would you like a shiddach?"
"Can I have your name and number?"
"Yes!" And I got it. More small talk through the window...Fourth impression - nice, friendly guy, willing to take a chance.
I returned to my friends. They wanted all the details I got. Then they wanted his name so they could check him out on Facebook.
No no no.
I am totally against folks "checking out" a potential shiddach on Facebook. Facebook is a place for fun, for nutty remarks, for silly faces. Facebook is a place to be at ease and fool around. It is not a serious place for shidduchim - UNLESS that's what your particular account is for.
Believe me.
Yes, I heard recently of a story of two young people who met while writing condolences on a memorial Facebook page, but I have heard many many more stories of matches that never happened because he/she checked out the other on Facebook and was not impressed.

Young people!!! Talk to one another!!! Speak on the phone!!! Meet in person!!! Don't decide whether this is your partner in life because of his/her Facebook page.

Get with the real social media - a face-to-face conversation.

Oh yes, about the guy we met at the parking lot....I've got his number, and hopefully soon, one of us will find out more about him, what he's like, what he's looking for, and he'll have the number of some really nice girl. Wish me luck.

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